Sunday Salon: Fried Chicken and Books

This weekend, the hubby and I went out to dinner with another couple. They'd never been to this restaurant, but I assured them this place had some of the best chicken wings in town. (We were in that I-need-another-beer-and-some-bar-food-kinda-mood.) This got us talking about some of the places to get some really good food in town.

One of my favorite places is this cute little soul food restaurant in an area of town that's not got the best reputation. The restaurant's been there for decades, and in recent years it's gotten a facelift, along with other businesses on that block. I've never felt unsafe going there, and they have really good fried chicken, cornbread, collard greens, lima beans - all that stuff I just love. So I go there, and on many occasions I've sung it's praises to people I work with. I've managed to make a few converts ;-)

However, some people give me a hard time, look at me suspiciously, and wonder why I like to go to "the hood" to eat. I just smile and tell them I'll go wherever there's good food.

So anyway, my friend tells me that she's tried one of the fried chicken places in the neighborhood in question, and she didn't like it. I tell her I'll take her to the place I like. Then she says, with a little smirk on her face, "I think you go there to prove a point."

I gave her my usual answer. Good food rules.

But here's the thing - she's partly right. I do go there, and other places like it, and then talk about it, on purpose. I want to show people (mainly other white, middle class people like myself) that's it's really okay if they go to black owned businesses. If they let black people cook their food. That even when the young black guy at the rib place gets arrested and shows up in court for some stupid possession charge that yes, I'll still eat where he works. (Can you imagine not eating where potheads work? There's not a restaurant around not staffed by people who smoke weed.)

So what does this have to do with books?

I approach my reading in the same way. I do thoughtfully seek out books from people of color. When I like them, I sing their praises. When I'm at the salon, talking books with the manicurist, I'm sure to tell her I'm reading Their Eyes Were Watching God, and I'm enjoying it. She's never heard of it, so I tell her how it's set in Florida, it deals with the 1928 hurricane, etc. She tells me that A Land Remembered is one of her favorite books. It's also a book set in old Florida. I don't make a big deal out of the fact that Their Eyes is by a black woman. It's just a good book, plain and simple. (Well actually, it's a great book, but that's for my upcoming gushing review.)

But there are so many good books that don't get the credit they're due. Or someone reads one book by a Harlem Renaissance author back when they were in high school, didn't like it, and now doesn't ever want to tray another one.

It's like not liking the friend chicken at one restaurant and then never going to try the place next door. It's just waiting there, ready to knock your socks off.

Books links are affiliate links to Indiebound.org 

Weekend Cooking: Minding My Manners

Emily Post on Entertaining
Elizabeth L. Post

I've had this book on my shelves for ages now, and have done little more than flip through it. I'd read the first chapter. "Party Planning" and decided it was so out of the realm of anything I could see my self doing that I put it down without a second thought.

But you know what? Despite the dreadfully stuffy bits, this could actually come in handy. Not that I plan on hosting a formal six course dinner party any time soon. However, it demystifies some of the impenetrable fog of secret Greenwich WASP code that surrounds these events.

It's also got good tips on how to manage logistics of say, a beach picnic. Or a buffet lunch. It has pointers on housewarming parties vs. open houses (who knew?).

Honestly, it was almost fun to imagine myself in some of the less probable circumstances: How do I treat the servants? (politely, but not with familiarity). Can I leave before the President of the United States does? (absolutely not). Must I used engraved invitations when I have a reception for my Senator? (ha!).

Anyway, give it a try, even if it's just to remember that your water glass is the one on the right.

Weekend Cooking, hosted by Beth Fish Reads, is a weekly blogging event open to anyone with a food related post to share. Do check out what this weekend's other participants are stirring up!

Top Ten Tuesday: Picture of Me

Top Ten Tuesday is host each week by the lovely bloggers over at The Broke and the Bookish
This week's task is to pick the 

Top Ten Posts On Your Blog That Would Give The BEST Picture of YOU 

as a reader and a person

Welcome! This is where I introduce myself and my blog, so I hope it gives a pretty good picture of me. I *am* trying to get better at the book snobbery - and think I'm making progress!

Books Meet Art at the Brooklyn Museum My nerdy side reveals itself.

Books Through Bars Hey, I do criminal defense.

Audiobook Success with Toni Morrison This is what happens when I'm just in love with a book. Not must beyond YOU MUST READ THIS. READ THIS, NOW. What can I say? Words fail sometimes.

Lord Help Us What happens when I really do not like a book. Like, REALLY don't like it.

Best of 2011, Thoughts on 2012 In which I get all contemplative.

New York, New York A tribute to some of the best books featuring the Big Apple.

In Which I Discover Charlotte Perkins Gilman

Pin It, Do It, Take 1 I get crafty!

Top Ten Tuesday: Favorite Characters I feel a list a favorite characters says a lot about myself.

Some Quick Thoughts

Every Last One
Anna Quindlen

At work, we have a book exchange box. I pulled this one out of it awhile ago, as I've been wanting to give Anna Quindlen another try. I read Blessings several years ago, and thought it was okay, but nothing special. However, I've read some short nonfiction from her and really like it a lot.

Well, I think I'll stick to her nonfiction. Every Last One was... fine. Tragic, which certainly appeals to me. But there was a distance between the reader and the Mary Beth, the narrator, a buffer, that meant that I never really felt a true connection with her. She has trouble connecting with the other people in her life, too.

There is a lovely piece near the beginning where Mary Beth describes the breathing patterns of each of her children. Their sounds while sleeping mirror their personalities while awake. I am fascinated by idea of what makes a person uniquely "them," even as they sleep.

So, not a bad book, but just not worth raving about.

Miral
Rula Jebreal

This is a book that could have been really good. Hind, a young, Arab woman in Jerusalem finds 55 orphaned or abandoned children, victims of the violence erupting in the city. She changes the course of her life to serve this children and the many more like them that are sure to appear. She leverages her considerable connections to keep them housed, fed, and as safe as possible.

The book is divided into parts, each part focusing on one of the female characters. Miral, of course, is one of them, a girl sent to Hind's orphanage and school after her mother dies. Her father is at a loss as to what do do with Miral and her younger sister. He trusts Hind to look after them and educate them, and he does his best to see them as often as possible.

Unfortunately, the tone never seemed to change, so all of the women just blended together for me. Further, just like in Every Last One, there was a distance between the characters and the reader. In fact, in the first chapter, I thought perhaps I was reading a journalist telling of an event that was going to set up the "real" action of the book. Nope. And then I realized the book was written by a journalist. I have  not had much luck with journalists who write novels.

Here's a thing I like about blogging: it forces me to think about why  a book didn't speak to me. Here are two decent books, ones I'm sure many people would like, but they weren't for me. And in writing about them, I realize that despite the vastly different settings, time period, etc, the problem I had with both of them was that I could not connect with the main characters. I don't have to like the main characters of the books I read, but I do have to get them.

What is a must for you when you read? Characters? Plot? Writing? Something else? Share in the comments.

July in Review

4th of July Seattle

Wow! It seems July just absolutely flew by. I managed to complete 6 books, plus I'm about halfway through with The Dovekeepers by Alice Hoffman. So far, so good. I'm enjoying a glimpse into a much more ancient Jewish culture than I've previously read about. It really makes me want to pick up The Hebrew Goddess by Raphael Patai

6 books total
3 fiction                50%
3 nonfiction          50%
5 female authors  83%
0 translated           0%

Unbelievable. For whatever reason, this is two months in a row that I haven't read any books translated into English (does all the Olympics watching count for anything?!). I'm going to have to focus on that for August. Unfortunately, most of the books laying around, waiting for me to pick them up and read them, were written in English. I'd love any recommendations for easy to locate books in translation.  Leave any suggestions in the comments!

The Mill on the Floss: A Victorian Celebration

Hosted by Allie at A Literary Odyssey

The Mill on the Floss
George Eliot

Wow. For awhile there I was afraid I wasn't going to finish a single Victorian novel before the end of A Victorian Celebration. Saturday I buckled down and knocked out the last 100 pages of The Mill on the Floss.

The Tulliver family owns the titular mill on the Floss, a river running along the fictional town of St. Ogg's, England. Mr. Tulliver is prone to either bad luck or poor decision making, depending on who one would ask. Of course, this leads to the downfall of his family and the loss of the mill. It is up to his son Tom to restore the family honor and position.

Did this live up to the perfection of Middlemarch? Not quite. I found the beginning difficult to trudge through. As children, Maggie and Tom Tulliver were quite unbearable. It was only after they grew into adolescents that I could read about them for more than twenty pages at a time. Even then, Tom was such a bore. I did feel badly for him, as he was under tremendous pressure, but still - what a jerk!

My heart broke for Maggie. Not the child Maggie, but the young woman. While her brother could work hard and bring honor to the family, the most she could hope for was to not be a burden. This exchange, during an argument between the siblings, laid out the central conflict so directly:

"Because you are a man, Tom, and have power, and can do something in the world."
"Then, if you can do nothing, submit to those who can."*

Maggie's choices, and those of any young woman of that time, were severely limited. She tries to do what is right, but she cannot help choosing what she feels is right in her heart instead of what Society would insist upon. There is a brilliant chapter quite late in the book where Eliot has Society weigh in on Maggie's options.

As I read, I wondered how much of this book was autobiographical. I have read that it was based in part on George Eliot's childhood, but how much was adult Maggie like George (or Mary Anne)? Eliot had a rather unusual relationship status of a woman of her time and status. I always thought of her as a trailblazer, but reading Maggie's struggles and heartbreak made me wonder how Eliot really felt about her love life. I usually hesitate to find too many parallels between an author's life and their work, but it's difficult to refrain from doing so in this case. Sorry if this is a bit obscure - I just don't want to give away too much for those who haven't read this yet!

I'm glad that I still have more of Eliot's work to read (and probably reread). The next one I tackle will probably be Daniel Deronda.

Do you have a favorite Eliot novel? Which one?

*Of course, we see that even Tom's power has its limits in the end.

Unbearable Lightness

Unbearable Lightness

Unbearable Lightness: A Story of Loss and Gain
Portia de Rossi

Here's the thing. I kinda liked this book. No, the writing isn't going to win any awards. Still, three stars. But while writing this review, I seemed to focus more on the negative. I don't want to give the wrong impression, so I'm putting this upfront :-)

You may recognize Portia de Rossi from Ally McBeal or Arrested Development or some other show, or from being married to Ellen Degeneres. I always thought she was incredibly beautiful and poised. In Unbearable Lightness, she lets the public into her very private, very scary struggle with an eating disorder and her dehabilitating self doubt. She is revealed as that girl that may come across cool and standoffish, but it's really because she's terrified that if people see her true self that her reputation and career will be destroyed.

As this is a book about a woman with an eating disorder, there are some very graphic passages. I felt physically ill at certain points, imagining the suffering that de Rossi was going through, denying her body the fuel it needed to exist.

It is so shocking to realize how far we've come in a relatively short time when it comes to LGBTQ acceptance. Of course, there is still a long way to go. De Rossi is very matter of fact about her career being stopped before it really would have started should anyone have found out she was gay. I am sure this still happens, probably pretty often, but it does seem like less of a big deal when a star comes out. Of course, there's a big difference between coming out on your own terms after building a successful career and being forcefully outed as a young Hollywood hopeful. Maybe that's changing?

The most powerful part of the book is when she juxtaposes her health diagnosis with pictures of herself when she was at her most sick. And truly, in most of them, she looks like any typical starlet. It's a shock to realize how many people must be starving themselves like she was.

I do wish there had been more focus on the "gain" part of the subtitle. De Rossi rather glosses over her struggle to recovery, and the stability and happiness she's found. It's clear there was a struggle, but it's only hinted at. She was so forthright in sharing her experience in the depths of her condition, I was surprised that she didn't detail how she got better. I feel it would have been a better aid to those that she says she wants to help. It was a bit simplistic - I found out I was sick, so I got better. I had an eating disorder because I was afraid of not being accepted as gay. I don't know - it just was a bit too pat.

Additionally, there were things in the "recovery" section that made me uncomfortable. She makes some rather judgmental pronouncements on eating habits in general, and she still seems to think that there is an acceptable weight range, or an acceptable way for weight to be distributed on one's body. There's a comment about people on treadmills vs. people who are "naturally" active, focusing on doing things like walking their dogs. While it seems that she's made progress, there are still some pretty damaging. For some thoughts bout what it's truly like to accept bodies, including fat bodies, I recommend checking out the Shapely Prose archives or Shakesville's Fatsronauts series. Also, for a great (and quick) summary about how not to talk about food and bodies around people with eating disorders, check out this post from a human story. It would be awesome to eliminate discussions about "good" and "bad" foods - you never know who's around to be hurt by these well accepted, seemingly harmless words.

Want more like this? Try:

• Marya Hornbacher, Wasted: A Memoir of Anorexia and Bulimia. A non-celebrity take on the topic. Very interesting to see the similarities and the differences in how the eating disorders were manifested in the two women. 
• Naomi Wolf, The Beauty Myth. I haven't read this one yet, but I do have a copy (thanks to the lovely Marilyn). De Rossi mentions this book frequently as opening her eyes to the impossible standards of beauty that women are expected to meet. Warning: Although this book is supposedly excellent, Naomi Wolf has been advancing more troublesome ideas in recent years.
• Jessica Yee, Feminism, for REAL. To further the idea of accepting ourselves and those around us, regardless of appearance or anything else! This book is awesome, btw. Everyone should read it.